Getting Older
It’s not that I mind getting older; it’s just that I don’t see myself as aging. Sometimes I pass a mirror and wonder who that image is staring back at me. I was supposed to slow down and enjoy my forties and fifties. I wanted to travel, but now I just hope I can continue walking a bit longer. My knees are worn out and I hurt more in the morning when I get up than I do when I go to bed, but I still think of myself as that child of the 60’s and 70’s who grew up in one of the most turbulent but exciting times in history.
I do, however, get a little concerned when my family thinks I might be getting forgetful. Last week I misplaced my cell phone. After a long day, I hurried home to check the house. I had briefly scanned my room at school and since it was not in my purse, I had assumed I had left it at home. After a good hour of searching, I had found nothing.
My youngest son who is in nursing school joined me in my quest. He turned over couch cushions, searched the basement, even cleaned out my car-- still no phone. He reluctantly recalled that I had lost a drivers license and a set of keys recently. He even went one step further to suggest I have a brain MRI at my next checkup.
I spent the rest of the night reflecting on the situation. Did I have a history of dementia in my family? My grandfather had memory loss but he was 90. My mother had memory loss but she also had oxygen deprivation from smoking. Did I need to schedule a procedure ASAP? I spent the better part of my night contemplating.
After being dropped off at school by my husband since my son had to borrow my car, I entered my classroom. As I began to unpack my bookbag, I shifted a stack of ungraded papers. Underneath was my missing smart phone. A sense of relief enveloped me.
Now I am not saying that I do not need to watch my memory. I think scientists say we lose about 2% of our grey matter each year. I try to keep my mind sharp by playing scrabble and grading papers. I may lose my hair but hopefully not my mind after contending with 140 fifth graders each day. It could be that I need to have some tests or it could just be that I am a teacher, mother, wife, cook, laundress, tutor, grocery shopper, accountant, tax woman, chauffeur, therapist, interventionist, nursemaid, and friend. Regardless, I now have my cell phone.
