I learned something today, something very valuable. It's one of those things that no one can teach you, you learn it by watching and listening ...and remembering.
I had the chance to keep my granddaughter yesterday. Mom was sick and Dad was tired so MiMi stepped in. We did our usual snuggles and TV watching. We cooked Mimi's oatmeal exactly by Rilynne's directions. We mixed regular Coke with Diet Coke, and we ate the crust off the chicken pot pie, our usual routines.
I began to clean up and place the dirty utensils in the sink. Rilynne asked if she could wash the glasses. I hesitated because they were glass and she has successfully broken a crystal candy dish given to me by my grandmother. After careful consideration and a few moments of begging, I consented to the challenge and moved her stool to the front of the sink.
As she stood there with her hands in soapy water and her sleeves soaking, I realized that THAT is what being a grandmother is all about. I was letting her explore places that her parents would be afraid to chance. I know because I have been there with my own children. There was always too much to do... Cleaning, cooking, running the family. Back then, a child standing at the sink having fun washing dishes would have meant yet another mess to clean up.
I watched as she discovered the joy in helping, in feeling valuable, in finding her place in the family. I could not help but think of my own grandmother. She had so much love to give. Even when she had no money to give us grandkids, she let us make memories. There were no princess costumes when I was little, but my grandmother let us girls dress up in her lingerie. We would put on her slips, her costume jewelry and her high heels. Our outfits looked as well as any gown a Fairy godmother could conger.
We built forts and hideouts in her living room and played beauty shop from our perch on the back of the sofa. Our imaginations were without limits in her confines. I learned how to sew and cook and make pot holders, all under her guidance and supervision.
Some people have accused her of spoiling my boys as well. She did sneak money to them on occasion. But more importantly, she let them be boys. They climbed in her pair trees, they made camps in her hedges, they cut paths through her fields with the machetes she gave them. No mother would have bought a son a machete, but Mama did.
Yes, I was very close to my grandmother, mainly because we had developed a relationship through the years, she let me be me. She encouraged me, she supported me, she loved me. What more could I ask of a grandmother.
I learned yesterday that being a grandparent is about taking a risk. Its about letting a child discover new things and take chances. It's about being there to encourage and nurture, even if things get broken along the way. It's about loving unconditionally. I hope and pray that I can be a good grandparent.
